Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
