i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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