what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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