Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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