Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
