I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
