plz talk dirty to me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You're a waste of cheezeits
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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