We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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