Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
