not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
