Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
