dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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