Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
