Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
