Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize