Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
