I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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