I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
