I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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