# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
