dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
