He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
