Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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