took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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