problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
