we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
