epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
