I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
