Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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