PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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