actually, I'm a sock model
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
