you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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