How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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