from now on my penis is your penis
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
please come you make the beer taste better
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
