I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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