Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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