i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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