sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
