Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
