In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
