I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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