Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
