zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
