the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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