Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
