Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
