Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
