I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
