Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize