I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This house was built for laser tag.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
did i just pee glitter
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
