Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
