All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
